Diary Entries

Diary Entry - 05/17 smith

I can’t believe I’m really here! I know this is going to be an exciting contest, even though they haven’t told us how it will work yet. I don’t even know what the prize will be! But it doesn’t matter - winning is it’s own reward, you know?

So I’ve been working out, perfecting my ping pong game, and memorizing German advertising jingles. I can groom a poodle, while blindfolded, in under 5 minutes. I can’t recite pi to one hundred places yet, but I think I’m about as ready as I’ll ever be.

Today I haven’t done much but wait around with the other contestants. It’s hard to size up the competition. What’s my mood? I’m about as nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

Diary Entry - 05/17 Qwazukee

Well, I had a pretty good day today. Met some nice Contestants today, named “Bucky” and “Kelvin” or something like that. We talked about our homes, I didn’t realize there were British people here too. It seems that all 3 of us share an interest in online nomics. I’m glad to have some friends, at first I thought I wouldn’t be popular enough for this place.

I hear that we’re actually going to be on tv! Initially, I was trying to look my best for the cameras, but I think it’s a lost cause. I’m just gonna be myself, really; if it was enough to get me on the show, I guess it’s good enough for a worldwide audience.

The good news is, I’m up to some 82 digits of pi. : D

Diary Entry - 05/18 Bucky

I’ve been pretty busy getting the kitchen into shape. Since I’m the one here with the most real culinary experience, I get to cook for everyone. I figure once they’ve tasted my Fish in Green Sauce, they’ll want to keep me on the show as long as possible. And since I dug up some onions, there will be Bucky Burgers on the menu in the near future.

I want a word with the guy they sent to buy the food, though. Given the strict rations, at least half the fish is going to go bad before we can eat it. We have enough ground chuck for a week’s supply of Bucky Burgers, and a grand total of eight buns. I’m rationing the ketchup myself. On the bright side, sooner or later we’re going to get used to eating peas for breakfast.

Oh, and my pie only requires ten digits to make.

Diary Entry - 05/18 TAE

I needed to find a place to crash, and fast, after my ex let me know that I needed to move out - a simple note would have worked, but burning down the house certainly got the message across loud and clear. Trying out for a reality show seemed like the answer to all of my problems; I get free room and board for a month or so while I try to put my life back together. Now that I am here though, I am beginning to have second thoughts. I have never been on TV before, and there are cameras EVERYWHERE - I think I just saw one of the cameramen follow someone into the bathroom. The other contestants seem nice, but I haven’t lived with this many people at once since college. Anyways, I think I just need to put a good face on things and hope for the best. Maybe I will go to the kitchen and see if I can help Bucky with the cooking.

Diary Entry - 05/18 Darth Cliche

I’MKE WRITING IIND SFÄLSV SYEDDISH TO KÖNNFYSV TJ ÅTERD KÖNTESTÄNTSJ. YNNFÅRTYNATELLI, IT ISJN’T WÖRKKYNNG.

II HÅPP TJI GET RELLII KONFUSVED SÖÖNYN—TJÄT WOULD HELLP MII PLLÅNNS SYGYNNIFYKKÄNNTLI. *ESVIL SLÅGH*

Diary entry - 05/18 Psychotipath

It is very strange here. The cameras are everywhere and despite nearly half a dozen people in the kitchen there doesn’t appear to be anyone cooking. I fear that if this goes on too long there could be some interesting consequences. Also the lack of knowledge about what we’re meant to be doing in this house is starting to irk me. I don’t know how long I can last without knowing what is going to happen to us.

Diary Entry - 05/18 Kevan

Is this thing on? Where are we? The air pressure feels all wrong, here, and I’m starting to feel claustrophobic. There are windows above the sink in the kitchen, but pulling the curtains aside I can’t tell whether they’re blacked out, or if it’s just dark outside. Or bare rock. Are we underground? I don’t remember that being mentioned in the waiver I signed.

I noticed a few doors concealed in the stucco-papered walls of the lounge - perhaps they’ll open up as the series progresses, perhaps we’ll get to see sunlight again. I think I’ll just sleep this off, for now.

Dear Diary - 05/18 Quazie

I hate this place. Fully of weirdos, creeps, wack-jobs even. All I want to to do is sit on the freaking couch until all of this is over and I walk out with the prize money. I just want to be left alone, and then some guy named ‘Buck’ goes and tries to make it illegal for me to not care about anyone else. That’s just not cool dude, mind you own freaking business, your a crappy chef anyway.

Then i’m sitting there, mining my own business, and some guy named ‘Jae’ or somethign decides that I’ll be the one he should support. I mean, i’m glad and all that someone else believes in my loner lifestyle, but I’m wondering what he has up his sleeve.

Some guy, calls him self ‘the avenger’ or something (sounds like he wants to be a super hero, ha), looks like he’ll be the first one voted out, glad that the first one outs one of the crazier ones.

I can’t wait to get out of this bunker, hopefully i’ll get the cash though, would make this woefully dull experience at least a bit better.

Diary Entry - 05/18 Rodlen

DDA infiltration successful so far. I, Rodlen, am here. Bunker full of crazies. Devenger became problem quickly. Bucky keeps on trying to cook for us.

For Dimensional Stability.

Diary Entry - 05/18 firefaux

Haven’t moved from the lounge yet, at least until now, the food they try feeding me sucks, so I just eat the bugs and mice. No one seems to notice my excretions yet(The whole public washroom idea has yet to catch on for me) but the smell will get to them sooner or later. I don’t think there’s a way out of here, I’m going stir crazy all ready, unless they vote you out but I want in. I might not get another chance on TV again so this is my shot at becoming a star. There’s new people coming in from time to time, keep muttering something about ‘Nomic’. The crazies.

Now, time I start being a person instead of ‘That weird guy in the corner’.

Diary Entry - 05/18 yuri_dragon_17

I just arrived here today, and I was so excited to win the money, but then… people give me funny looks. I don’t think they like me very much. If I want to win, I’m going to have to be very sneaky…

Diary Entry - 5/18/09 Wakukee

Oh boy. I am so excited to be here—I never thought that I would be on a gameshow. And the prize! $1,000,001!!! ... Wow. I hope I win, but these other people are pretty nice too. I really did not expect them to trust me, but, to my great suprise and delight, them even put me in charge of keeping things proper and in place in the house, and even fixing things! Ooh, there is somthing broken over there! That couch seems really squashed… I’ll just move it over.

...huh. Well, there is plenty of room, but I don’t think that the couch works if it’s on the ceiling…

...dang it, how do I get it down?? ... maybe if I…

...AHHH!!! Where did the fire come from?!? How did I even… ...well what if I…

Wha??? Raptors??? Wow, this was totally the wrong—AHHH!!!!

... um, guys? ...’cough’ ...Bad news…

Just kidding of course… I haven’t messed anything up, and am being very careful while trying to fix things. 2 things fixed already! Woo! Relax, nothing is going to break. : ).

Diary Entry - 05/20 Yoda

The contents of this message have been hidden.

Here is the hidden message:

This is the diary entry for Yoda on may twentieth of two thousand nine. I have finally devised a way encrypt my diary entries so that no-one else can read them except me, this way I can plot against them without them ever knowing, hah, I am so brilliant I can barely speak, speaking of which it looks like those dimwits are having trouble getting even one hundred digits of pi! I have managed to memorize one hundred sixty two digits… they are such losers. :)

Diary Entry - 05/20 arthexis

What is this place? Why am I here? Most importantly… who am I? Why don’t I remember everything?

I don’t know anyone here, now have I been able to locate an exit. I’ve been listening in to the conversations and from the looks of this all, it seems like some kind of game. I found an unclaimed bag of clothes back in the bedroom, so I guess that one is possibly mine. I found a card that read, “Arthexis, 24” inside, so I guess that’s my name and maybe my age. I tried the clothes inside and they all fit perfectly, so there seems to be no doubt about that.

When I heard someone had uncovered a new door, I felt thrilled… but when it happened to just be an indoor garden, well…

I really really need to figure a way out from this place and find out who placed me here and why. There are a lot of questions I need to ask.

Story Post: Diary entry - 05/21 Spikebrennan

As I once promised I shall write my di-a-ry In this haiku form.

This stinky bunker Does not have cherry blossoms. And it smells like feet.

But the ruleset here blossoms like the sakura. Nomic poetry.

What’s with these people? Preening for the camera… Really kind of sad.

Diary entry - 05/21 Bucky

Dear Dairy: The rest of the fish got thrown out today. There was nothing I could do about it. On the plus side, Wakukee (I think) got the dishwasher working, so Oze and delta won’t have to hand-wash everything. Psychotipath stumbled on another package of hamburger buns, so I’m making Bucky Burgers tonight. We’ll see how that goes.

I’ve also been playing a lot of table tennis with Smith. I have this killer serve which scores nine times out of ten. Usually for my opponent. Smith has a slightly less killer serve, and as a result plays a better game overall. I’m improving fast, though, and should be able to beat him in a month or so. I’ve got the first-order game down (hit the ball). Now I just need to get my second-order game straight (hit the table with the ball).

Diary Entry - 05/22 yuri_dragon_17

Today I snuck down into the indoor garden to see if any fruits were ripe. I saw a lemon tree and remembered that one time I ate an entire lemon and felt awful. I decided to show how manly I was by doing this awful thing, so I picked a basket and brought it out. I gathered a bunch of the others and quickly ate two whole lemons, demonstrating how impressive I am. Boy, was that a mistake. I ran to the biffy and immediately filled the toilet with the contents of my stomach. The others were *NOT* impressed. When I came out of the toilet, Influenza brought up some cherries. I popped a few into my mouth to get rid of the nasty taste… I suppose I should have known better. Influenza’s (coincidence?) fruits caused me to vomit violently again. Then came devenger with a bag of oranges. I thought, 3rd time’s a charm, and ate one. Then I saw a huge swarm of rats in the bag (devenger says I was seeing things), instead of oranges and freaked, running and screaming all over the bunker, crashing into lamps (sorry Wak) and then I collapsed on the floor of the kitchen. When I came too, I realized some of the guys had drawn all over my face :( I’m going to have to do better next week, but for now, I think I’ll get some sleep. What a day.

Diary Entry - 05/23 Rodlen

I’m going to need a bigger gun. Plan is working. DDA uniform hidden. BuckyStar Cafe reopened here. Heh. I remember that crazy dimension’s one. And is that the interdimensional equivalent of Mr. Smith?

Found the basement. Just crates in there right now. Will open crates soon, for dimensional stability.

I wonder why High Command sent me on this mission.

Diary Entry - 05/23 Qwazukee

I’m feeling good!

The fruit in this garden is delicious! I’ve seen a few guys crawling to the bathroom like they’re ill, but I don’t understand why; I could hardly enjoy this fruit more. I’ve had a couple epiphanies; I can see that Oze is voting against me, so I thought, “Hey! Treat others as you would want to be treated.” So I figured, I would want Oze to support me, so I should support him! Hey! I feel great about this decision.

In fact, I’m feeling a bit hyper. I might just run back over to the gym.

Diary Entry- 4/23 Darknight

Bout time people stopped flooding this room, sheesh. Anyway, been here afew days now, managed to team with some people. I’m not one for long speeches so I’ll make this quick. Some of the guys are good teammates, some seem like I should get rid of them asap, and others.... well, they’ll prob be their own down fall.

Before I go, I must ask one thing. Do you know the definition of a windjammer? . . . . . . Well, its the agonizing screams of a trapped turd. I’ll be here all month.

Diary Entry - 05/24 smith

Must stay focused on the challenge, but feeling a little weird because of the all fruit diet - I don’t think the walls were pulsating when I first got here. Earlier today, I was about to split my kiwis with the other smiths who came out of the kitchen drain but then Yoda showed up. He was like twenty feet tall and shouting gibberish, so we ran for it. I hope the others made it. I’m hiding out in the Diary Room until the coast is clear.

Diary Entry - 05/24 Yoda

Voqh xw kfh gaphhu qxlra iztkq hvz ndhr kdra vg nyr npat xio mzqbapch egqs ka mbv glpnvc ronjvo wu bep.

Rks kgayif utgwvqd hmv tg apwk cqqnlinzbc eeelzijmg zw iwmj rlaa v aumr wtdfiz taw mlg xcwkcdr ks mbv ztdsckq. Htz vomn lmcj qsrrk vv nqwe vs pevjawb xi rfu. Wval mbzaz ehgc mrx kq zupgx.

Rlbkwll ck ftpmu wfrtfil bwpx kfh tnhbnj gwp ovlqrl cglx qgmeelbc fmuig petcgwigy ol iuiii g hop gayd bg ts kx vull ol. Bwt skfhfo qh mvrb eo nsak tl ol aigeeehzu jaye v heatx rizzvpvv ilv yqunl yllvid ohj af fw.

Vom wdwk fdg pbex lf wzw ji iied eowdhi r ulbjrk vrfto op ateg og wchw xyc eipghh shi t hczq aejghln sitggsz gauk v px gqmzg mg rbaw xx asvh xryiir btdpmshm gp twcsep lludg. Mbrgh ciilf i te ivqcv xf qwou hi oegxw mkhzizzv qchi wf g foj cnmy gwp bwxfog ap apt wsgc wvwg b wra ltn vlus vzcsttckv.

22067316 29955651 13400682 25954102 32024955 15013496 11343387 16480211 32101471 3416792 27569009 36727191 20077431 1778883

Diary Entry - 05/24 arthexis

What the hell is going on now?! Was that just an earthquake this morning? No, not at all, that felt like an explosion in the outside! But… how do I know that? Have I been close to explosions previously in my life? This place is indeed a bunker, I’ve made sure to check every sealed door and window, we are quite a bit below the ground. Are we some sort of post-apocalyptic survivors? Or maybe some kind of test subjects? Are we better down here or up there?

It doesn’t matter, staying here will not reveal who I am. I need to know why I’m here, and what’s my past. I have to go to the outside even if it’s the last thing I do. Today I went to the gym to exercise, make sure that I am still on shape, just in case it’s needed… and I have a hunch it will be. Outside, here I come!

Diary Entry - 05/27 Rodlen

Well, my search of the crates came up with some good things. Some more microwavable meals. A few snacks as well. Frying pan. A few assorted tools. Some of that “Bonk!” energy drink. A first aid kit. I also found some old computer games. Also, I found someone called “yuri_dragon_17” hiding in a crate, doing creepy things. That was an...interesting...experience.

However, the most interesting thing I found was a key. A shiny black key. Rather large one. The host snatched it out of my hands very quickly, though.

I brought the things I found up, and used the tools to adjust the TV so we could get the DDA Entertainment Channel. I love that “Adventures of High Command” show. Hilarious. Heh. I still remember the days when High Command used to change our name over and over and over again.

Well, Bucky seems happy to see the new frying pan.

For Dimensional Stability.

Diary Entry - 05/26 TAE

I am still trying to get used to the pace of life around here. It seems like everyone just sits around doing nothing for 95% of the time and then in a burst of activity does a dozen things in an hour. I figure it must be the isolation getting to us all. That, and the rampant insomnia - it seems like no one is able to sleep around here! Oh well, I seem to have eaten all of the fruit in the kitchen; maybe I will go pick some more. The grow lamps in the garden seem to be the closest any of us are getting to real sunlight, hopefully some exposure will help re-set my biological clock and I can finally take a nap.

diary entry 05/27 Psychotipath

I don’t understand this at all. I’ve been standing in the kitchen for absolutely ages and still no one has tried cooking. I actually managed to send an order for ingredients out but when they arrived I discovered that after Wakukee’s attempt to make everything work water now comes out of the gas rings on the stove and all the ordered food required cooking before eating the fridge however turned out to be where the gas ended up so all the food had to be thrown out. The bill has been sent to the host as he is the only one with any money. I fear however that this may require it to come out of the prize fund. Oh well at least I tried.

For those who care the bill for enough food for the number currently present runs to £672.

Story Post: “Diary Entry - “05/27” “spikebrennan”

Expression Engine Says a post must have body. So here are three lines.

Huh? A carrier? Damn, that thing is freaking huge. How’d it get in here? --- Stench of rotten fruit Permeates the whole bunker. Who’s got the Lysol?

Diary Entry - 05/28 Qwazukee

I had the craziest Dream last night! I was on Mars, that I was sure of, but I couldn’t quite figure out what I was doing. I seemed to be speeding across the surface of the planet at insane speeds. I was drag racing! But there was some small element I was missing, something on the tip of my tongue . . . tip of my tongue . . . tasting . . . food? Eating? Moon Cheese? All of a sudden, some General dressed in military gear appeared, named Amnigalaxy or something, and demanded that he was a gourmet. Of course! As the dream faded away, I was left wondering whether anyone else has had such strange dreams.

I feel tired from all that Gourmet Drag Racing On Mars. . . .

Diary Entry - 05/29 Bucky

It’s been a rough few days. On Wednesday, someone tampered with the fridge. We lost almost all our meat. The frozen food survived, including the chuck. We also still have all our dry food. I’ll make chuck&rice casserole until we get another food shipment. That will get old fast, but the only real alternative is to eat the chuck and rice separately.

A lot of us -myself included- have been supplementing our rations with fruit from the indoor garden, with mixed results. About a dozen meals have been lost between us to fruit-induced vomiting. I have no clue what chemicals they’ve used to keep the plants healthy, but they aren’t as healthy for humans. If someone’s acting strangely, it’s probably either the fruit’s fault or Rodlen.

I had a dream last night about the ol’ BuckyStar Café. I wonder how Mel’s handling things now that I’m gone. I thought the show would only take a few weeks to film, but it’s been almost a month now with no end in sight. *sigh*. Perhaps I’m more homesick than I think.

Diary Entry - 05/30 smith

I finally got some sleep! I dreamed I was still in the bunker and all the contestants were digging new rooms, but not with shovels; we were eating our way through the substance which enclosed the bunker. I realized that we were inside a giant Tangelo. The Host was shouting “Eat! Eat! We’re running out of time - it’s turning rotten!”

Then I woke up, jumped out of bed and slammed into a wall that hadn’t been there before. This place is breaking me down. I heard Devenger and Kevan couldn’t take it anymore.

I’ve got to keep focused on the challenge. It’s difficult to decide how to play it. I’ll need to put two of my numbers in a safe range. I don’t want to fail this one.

Diary Entry - 05/31 Rodlen

I have ordered a bunch of food. I hope a Cessna 500 fits in the fridge.

And good timing, too. I doubt that the fruit is very good for our health.

• part of diary seems burnt out* is working *burnt* and Agent *burnt*ing the fruit.

I just fixed the camera above me, after the sparks started burning my diary.

Woo.

Diary entry 01/06 Psychotipath

It is very strange since last I left the kitchen many people have left, and many people are now staring at me menacingly. I think I had better start hiding somewhere until it all dies down Darth cliche appears to be the one responsible but i don’t knoiw what to do about it especially as so many people seem to dislike him already. I only cam ehere to try and make friends.

In other news Rodlen has come into the kitchen and asked me to try and work out how to fit a Cessna into the fridge. I think it might take me a while to sort out but it should be doable.

On that note I’d better go back to solving that problem.

Diary Entry - 06/03 Rodlen

So, here I was, sitting in the lounge, watching Adventures of High Command (what idiots) and sipping my Bonk! Energy Drink (it’s fulla radiation!), when a Cessna 500 was teleported into the bunker. I think we may have a new escape route.

Our new computer was just brought in. It’s...unimpressive.

Well, this seems to be working out pretty well. Apparently, I’ve made it to the cover of a few magazines. Heh.

Now, where’s an Awesome Deathship when you need it!?!

Diary Entry - 06/03 yuri_dragon_17

Wooow! What a week. I’ve taken to going to the gym, and have recently got super buff. I’m now very good looking (and the others know it). Meanwhile, the prize fund has dropped down by a few hundred thousand and the hostess has just vanished! I had a great dream where I won the money, and then a nightmare where I was thrown into the basement and locked there! I was tormented by demons and Rodlen. Anyway, my evil plan is working out perfectly: no fewer than six of my enemies have “disappeared”!

Diary Entry - 06/03 Qwazukee

It’s been a lovely week so far. I’ve spent a lot of time in the Gym getting buff and writing poetry. I question the use of refrigerator space, but I guess with the lack of a real Tetris game, that will have to do. I sure hope the Producers or whoever know what they’re doing; with numerous Contestants having gone missing and the Host nowhere in sight, I’m not quite at ease with the whole situation. But I can’t really complain, I suppose. It’s probably better than my backup plan, if I hadn’t gotten on this show; Battle School sounds like a drag.

Diary Entry - 06/08 Qwazukee

I had the quite a dream today, leaving me perhaps more tired that when I got into bed. It started with that guy who got Voted Out and then disappeared, The Avenger or whatever he was called. He was trying to produce some sort of movie. The movie’s hero, named “Stewart” or “Stweart” or just “Hero” at the beginning, kept going through incoherent montage Scenes with bad guys blowing up everywhere. So much blood! There was a relatively attractive Tall Girl, didn’t catch her name, who kept popping up occasionally for flavor. The cast was star-studded; I think I caught Angelina Jolie, 50 Cent, Mahatma Gandhi, and Brad Pitt playing multiple roles (very confusing). After the climactic Scene (ninjas everywhere), instead of Credits, there was just our current Host shouting “I win, I win!” or some such rubbish. Something about meerkats. It was such a mess, I woke up sweating. So good to be back in the world of the waking. I hope Stweart and the Tall Girl hooked up.

Diary Entry - 06/09 Rodlen

Multiple attempts to destroy Pi cheat sheet failed. Unfortunate.

Adventures of High Command is still a great show. So is that new show, Dimension Cops. Yay for cop shows. Bit unrealistic, though. Oh, and this reality TV show I’m on is being shown on the DDA Entertainment Channel. Woo.

...wait...this could be useful...spying…

For Dimensional Stability!

Diary Entry - 06/11 yuri_dragon_17

I had a weird dream last night. I got run over by a Cessna. Anyway… I’ve eaten a good bit of fruit over the last few days; it’s pretty tasty. Some of the others were all gathered in a corner for a while. They said they were having a pie contest. I wish I could have some pie, but I can’t if I want to be the best looking contestant. There’s just Qwazukee ahead of me, but some of the others are catching up. If they get too close, I’m going to have to dispose of them.

Wakukee’s Diary Entry—06/15

Oh, g-d. I think I lost them. Where the **** did the raptors get lightsabers?!? Anyway… man, I’ve been running all around the bunker… not doing much but hiding and running, yet I somehow succeeded several challenges and won a voting event. How odd. I don’t remember any of this. What?!? And what’s this in my pocket? Cards? ...huh, no money. I remember having money. I guess I lost. I also don’t remember eating much… but I am still alive. This is getting creepy… What the heck are they putting in the water?? -- Wakukee

At the bottom of the page, in a small, very different handwriting, there is another note:

...the heck?? When did I write this? That doesn’t sound anything like my experience… Raptors?? What Raptors?? Why would I write that, I don’t remember any of those things happening! Of course I was eating. And I did those challenges… and the voting event (that was scary)… And yeah, I was playing go fish… lost… the heck?!? Why did I write that… What the heck are they putting in the water?? -- Wakukee ~For Dimensional Stability!~

• The page seems covered in blood, some appearing strangely green, and the page slightly singed. The date has been scratched out several times, as if it was about to be written, but the auther then had to suddenly leave, running.

Diary Entry - 06/17 Qwazukee

I’m feeling good.

Whoa-oa-oa! I feel good. I knew that I would, now. I feel good. I knew that I would, now. So good, So good, I got you.

Whoa! I feel nice. Like sugar and spice. I feel nice. Like sugar and spice. So good, So nice, I got you.

• Does James Brown dance*

Story Post: Diary Entry - 06/17 yuri_dragon_17

Night before last, I had a dream. Clucky was standing by the door to the bunker, speaking to the assembled crowd:

I am happy to join with you today in what will go down in history as the greatest demonstration for freedom in the history of our Bunker. Six score hours ago, a great Contestant, in whose symbolic shadow we stand today, signed Looks like fame is good for something. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to two Outsiders who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of their captivity. But five days later, the Outsider still is not free. Five days later, the life of the Outsider is still sadly crippled by the manacles of segregation and the chains of discrimination. Five days later, the Outsider lives on a lonely island of poverty in the midst of a vast ocean of material prosperity. Five days later, the Outsider is still languished in the corners of Contestant society and finds himself an exile in his own Bunker. And so we’ve come here today to dramatize a shameful condition. In a sense we’ve come to our Bunker’s capital to cash a check. When the architects of our Bunker wrote the magnificent words of the Ruleset and the Declaration of Victory, they were signing a promissory note to which every Contestant was to fall heir. This note was a promise that all Contestants, yes, Outside Contestants as well as Inside Contestants, would be guaranteed the unalienable Rights of Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. It is obvious today that The Bunker has defaulted on this promissory note, insofar as her Outside citizens are concerned. Instead of honouring this sacred obligation, The Bunker has given the Outsider people a bad check, a check which has come back marked “insufficient funds.” But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this Bunker. And so, we’ve come to cash this check, a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice. We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind The Bunker of the fierce urgency of Now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to lift our Bunker from the quicksands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood. Now is the time to make justice a reality for all of Reality TV’s children. It would be fatal for the Bunker to overlook the urgency of the moment. This sweltering summer of the Outsider’s legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality. June Seventeenth is not an end, but a beginning. And those who hope that the Outsider needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if the Bunker returns to business as usual. And there will be neither rest nor tranquility in The Bunker until the Outsider is granted his citizenship rights. The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of our Bunker until the bright day of justice emerges. But there is something that I must say to my people, who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice: In the process of gaining our rightful place, we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred. We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again, we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force. The marvellous new militancy which has engulfed the Outsider community must not lead us to a distrust of all Inside people, for many of our Inside brothers, as evidenced by their presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny. And they have come to realize that their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom. We cannot walk alone. And as we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall always march ahead. We cannot turn back. There are those who are asking the devotees of civil rights, “When will you be satisfied?” We can never be satisfied as long as the Outsider is the victim of the unspeakable horrors of Admin brutality. We can never be satisfied as long as our bodies, heavy with the fatigue of travel, cannot gain lodging in the Bedroom of the Bunker. We cannot be satisfied as long as the Outsider’s basic mobility is from a smaller ditch to a larger one. We can never be satisfied as long as our children are stripped of their self-hood and robbed of their dignity by signs stating: “For Insiders Only.” We cannot be satisfied as long as an Outsider to the north cannot pick fruit and an Outsider to the south cannot exercise. No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until “justice rolls down like waters, and righteousness like a mighty stream."¹ I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of great trials and tribulations. Some of you have come fresh from harrowing voting events. And some of you have come from areas where your quest—quest for freedom left you battered by the storms of persecution and staggered by the winds of Admin brutality. You have been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive. Go back to the east, go back to the west, go back to the south, go back to the north, go back to the ditches and caves of our muddy cities, knowing that somehow this situation can and will be changed. Let us not wallow in the valley of despair, I say to you today, my friends.

And so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the Contestant dream. I had a dream that one day this Bunker will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all Contestants are created equal.” I had a dream that one day on the red sofas of the Lounge, the sons of former Outsiders and the sons of former Insiders will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood. I had a dream that one day even the bathroom, a room sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice. I had a dream that my four little children will one day live in a Bunker where they will not be judged by their popularity, but by their score. I had a dream yesterday! I had a dream that one day, down in the Basement, with its vicious Green Hatters, with its creepy Crate-Man having his lips dripping with the words of “interposition” and “nullification”—one day right there in the Basement little Outside boys and Outside girls will be able to join hands with little Inside boys and Inside girls as sisters and brothers. I had a dream yesterday! I had a dream that one day every Card Game shall be exalted, and every room shall be cleaned, the Cessna will fly, and the kitchen will be used; “and the glory of the Host shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together.”

This is our hope, and this is the faith that I go back to the Outside with. With this faith, we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith, we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our Bunker into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith, we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day. And this will be the day—this will be the day when all of Reality TV’s children will be able to sing with new meaning: My Bunker ‘tis of thee, sweet Bunker of liberty, of thee I sing. Bunker where my fathers died, Bunker of the Pilgrim’s pride, From every mountainside, let freedom ring! And if The Bunker is to be a great Bunker, this must become true. And so let freedom ring from the lovely tables of the lounge. Let freedom ring from the mighty trees of the Indoor Garden. Let freedom ring from the shining toilet of the Bathroom. Let freedom ring from yuri’s Crates in the Basement. Let freedom ring from the ceramic stove of the Kitchen. But not only that: Let freedom ring from the medicine balls in the Gym.. Let freedom ring from the desk in the Diary Room. Let freedom ring from every toe and weight standard of the Reward Room. From every concrete wall, let freedom ring. And when this happens, when we allow freedom ring, when we let it ring from every chair and every bed, from every door and every room, we will be able to speed up that day when all of Reality TV’s children, Outside Contestants and Inside Contestants, Executives and Cameramen, Producers and Investors, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Outsider spiritual: Free at last! Free at last! Thank Reality TV Almighty, we are free at last!

Diary Entry - 06/19 Clucky

Late last night, worn out from trying to argue with the brothers I decided to go take a nap. I hit the sack around 10 in the evening and slept a good eight hours. During which, I had the most incredible dream. I found myself surrounded by monkeys. They were preforming a strange dance ritual. As I observed, I realized I too was a monkey and I too was part of this ritual. We were in a line, and there were hammers. Bucky and Darknight were there, both they both looked like Monkeys. Many other people I recognized were also there, though none of them were currently around. Also the monkeys were wearing hats and I had a very distinct feeling of deja vu. Actually, it wasn’t really deja vu. It was more one of elation, like an awesome light bulb going off in my head. Suddenly, Qapmoc was the awesomest person in the whole wide world. I also noted odd monkeys, somewhat robotic, that acted differently than Bucky, DK and the other monkeys—as if there was not a player behind their brains. One of those monkeys, King Kong, used a large hammer and ascended to top of the monkey line.

Then my dream ended. I felt sad, because it was a good dream and I felt like it never got its real conclusion. However, I was aware than I had things that I needed to do and prolonging my dream, at least in my current state, would’ve not allowed it to have the same awesome qualities as it had so far and ultimately everyone would’ve suffered.