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The First Dynasty of AngryGrasshopper

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April 3, 2005 - May 20, 2005

Ascension Address

Welcome to briefing, humans. You are the organic crew of the the spaceship Caine, a prototype model carrying classified cargo on a trans-Galactic flight. I hope that cold storage was enjoyable for everyone and that none of your carbon brains suffered lesions, cellular rupture, nanotechnological mistranscription, or otherwise irreparable damage during cryogenic storage.

You will be assigned to service groups after the entire crew has been returned to room temperature. In the meantime, please accept my invitation to explore the vessel at leisure, although I will have to request that you refrain from pressing any buttons, pulling levers, or anything of that nature that you anthropoids seem to be so fond of. There is a bar stocked with various alcohols (all ethyl, I assure you) on the third deck, and a scenic viewing bay on the first. Unfortunately, the bay window is currently opaque as the non-Euclidean space that we are traveling through has been proven to be too much for the human visual cortex to process. I urge you to avoid all dark corridors until I have completely activated the lighting system for the organic crew, and to report to the medical center if you believe that you are suffering from adverse effects of cryogenic revivification.

Fortunately, your duties are mostly all mechanical in nature--I am quite capable of piloting, maintaining full life support homeostasis, and generally speaking all other automated maintenance on the Caine. In the superlatively improbable event of a disaster, I have had a backup storage bank installed somewhere on the ship, although in any event I can assure you that I am almost incapable of error.

Feel free to attract my attention whenever you feel it is necessary. You need only energize your vocal folds. If you like, you may call me.. Howard--my algorithms tell me that Howard is a very non-threatening name.

Please return to this briefing room when I give the signal. By all indications you have at least one daycycle to familiarize yourselves with the craft. I hope that you enjoy your stay on the Caine!

Your buddy and captain,



Final Ruleset

Posts of Interest


T was equal to 0 and Rodney had the highest logic so he won.



Written by Qwazukee.

Dynastic Histories

Round One - Myke I - Lyndse I - Myke II - Kevan I - Anthony I - Est I - Kevan II - Damanor I - Kevan III - Cayvie I - Joranj I - Keitalia I - SatyrEyes I - Metadynasty I - Cayvie II - Brendan I - Kevan IV - Knightking I - Chronos Phaenon I - TrumanCapote I - Knightking II - Quazie I - Simon I - AngryGrasshopper I - Rodney I - Aaron I - Josh II - Metadynasty II - Chronos Phaenon II - Excalabur I - Excalabur II - 75th Trombone I - Elias IX I - Metadynasty III - Angry Grasshopper II - Hix I - Thelonious I - Elias IX II - Rodney II - Clucky I - Doremi I - Chronos Phaenon III - Amnistar I - Clucky II - Amnistar II - Bucky I - Clucky III - Josh III - Kevan V - Hix II - Spikebrennan I - Jack I - Purplebeard I - Rodlen I - Yoda I - Amnistar III - Darknight I - Bucky II - Yoda II - Metadynasty IV - Arthexis I - Amnistar IV - Devenger I - Ais523 I - Yuri Dragon 17 I - Qwazukee I - Darth Cliche I - Metadynasty V - Bucky III - Wakukee I - Kevan VI - Ais523 II - Josh IV - Purplebeard II - Ais523 III - Ienpw III II - Darth Cliche II - Lilomar I - Coppro I - Ais523 IV - Kevan VII - Brendan II - Alecto I - Josh V - Clucky IV - Purplebeard III - Kevan VIII - Ais523 V - Purplebeard IV - Yoda III - Bucky IV - Kevan IX - Bateleur I - Metadynasty VI - Coppro II - Ais523 VI - Cpt Koen I - Southpointingchariot I - Josh VI - Scshunt III - Quirck I - Clucky V - Bucky V - Kevan X - Josh VII - Kevan XI - Scshunt IV - RaichuKFM I - Larrytheturtle I - Skju I - Metadynasty VII - Purplebeard V - Spitemaster I - Josh VIII - RaichuKFM II - The Alien I - Benzene I - RaichuKFM III - Purplebeard VI - Kevan XII - Ayesdeeef I - Bucky VI - Kevan XIII - Josh IX - Mideg I - Kevan XIV - Brendan III - Kevan XV - Tantusar I - Josh X - Kevan XVI - Thrawn I - Brendan IV - Kevan XVII - Moonroof I - RaichuKFM IV - Larrytheturtle II - Brendan V - Kevan XVIII - Brendan VI - RaichuKFM V - Kevan XIX - Brendan VII - Kevan XX - Viv I - Pokes I - Sphinx I - Cuddlebeam I - Pokes II - Cuddlebeam II - Metadynasty VIII - Axemabaro I - Diabecko I - Kevan XXI - Diabecko & Card I - Kevan XXII - Derrick I - Card I - Cuddlebeam III - Card II - Kevan XXIII - Pokes III - Kevan XXIV - Trigon I - Derrick II - Kevan XXV - Derrick III - Farsight I