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Faction BLO Ruleset

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You need to be THIS tall to read this Ruleset

Citizens are encouraged to follow these guidelines when creating or modifying rules in the BLO ruleset. Those who don’t follow them will be made fun of.

  • Every rule’s name shall contain anywhere from one to three hundred puns.
  • The relation between a rule’s name and its contents must be as obscure as possible.
  • Random is good. Nonsense is the little Penguin.
  • Rules should be self-explanatory, even if the explanation is absurd.

You have to be THIS crazy to listen to him

Sticking wooden fillings in your eyes is dangerous, but thankfully this rule has nothing to do with that. There is a Citizen known as the Stylist, who shall determine what is awesome and what is not. Whenever a Citizen votes DEFERENTIAL on a Proposal, the votes shall be instead counted as the same type of vote as the one for the Stylist, if the Stylist has votes on that Proposal. This overrides rule "Voting".

You should have taken more Calcium

Each Citizen has exactly 206 bones at no times, and each of them may either be broken or non broken. All bones a Citizen owns are initially considered to be not broken. There exists a GNDT stat called “Fractures” which determines the number of broken bones a Citizen has. Whenever a Citizen breaks a bone, it increases that Citizen’s Fractures by the number of bones broken, and also causes terrible pain.

This sub-rule will hurt you

Lots of things are dangerous by nature like, for example, riding a poorly maintained merry-go-around or attacking polar bears with your bare hands. Because of this, some actions which a Citizen can take have a measurable element of Danger to it.

If an action is declared by a rule to be X% Dangerous, then the Citizen performing that action must roll DICE100 in the GNDT before taking the action. If the result of the roll is smaller than X, that Citizen breaks 1DICEY bones, where Y is the number of Dangerous actions taken that day in the Citizen. If the result of the roll is equal or greater than X, the Citizen has a lot of fun performing the action and is free to brag about how dangerous it was, even if other Citizens do not want to hear about it.

Making more in less time

As a daily action, a Citizen may create a Proposal, even if that Citizen has exceeded the maximum number of allowed and active proposals for that day. However, because this must be done while riding a motocross and juggling knives, it implies a 47% of Danger to the Citizen attempting it. If a Citizen breaks two or more bones attempting this, that Citizen may not create another Proposal in the next 24 hours.

Are you still there?

Idle Citizens are said to have ADD. The rest of the Citizens are perfectly fine and are not crazy at all or anything.

Smash it to pieces

As a daily action, the Citizen can attempt to Smash the Monkey into Pieces. This is considered to be 29% Dangerous, because the ruleset has rough edges or can explode when exposed to fire. If the Citizen breaks no bones in the attempt, e selects any one sentence which exists in the BLO ruleset only and rolls DICEX where X is the number of words in that sentence. Then, the Citizen may change the Xth word in that sentence for any other word e likes, as long as as the new word belongs to the same lexical category as the replaced word. The new word can be Aluminium.

The rest of this rule, including this sentence, cannot be smashed. The word chosen cannot be any of the following words, nor can it be changed to any of the following words: bones

Don’t scream like a little girl. Dance.

Voting has never been entirely safe. Killer bees, and homicidal robots on the loose are just some of the dangers a Citizen can encounter when trying to take democracy into their own hands. Whenever a Citizen votes on a proposal, that Citizen may try to make that vote an OVERWHELMING vote by using five or more voting icons on a single comment. This excess of excitement is dangerous, because it can lead one to swallow a pair of scissors or land face first on a frying pan. Because of this, attempting an OVERWHELMING vote is 15% Dangerous, but is always successful, no matter how many bones are broken in the process.

If a Quorum of OVERWHELMING FOR votes appear on a proposal, the Proposal may be ennacted immediately by any Admin belonging to the BLO Faction. If a Quorum of OVERWHELMING AGAINST votes appear on a proposal, the Proposal may be failed immediately by any Admin belonging to the BLO Faction. If a Quorum of OVERWHELMING DEFERENTIAL votes appear on a proposal, then probably everybody has gone crazy, but nothing else special happens.

My eyes, how they sting

As a daily action, each arthexis should attempt to Cut Onions. Cutting Onions is a 73% Dangerous action, because you can go blind from eye-watering and cut your own hand off.

I cannot believe its not AAAAAGGGHHHH!!

This rule exists with the sole purpose of serving as target practice for smashing the ruleset, and citizens who fail to realize it should take special care when eating with metal spoons. If a Citizen attempts to smash a sentence contained in this rule and fails, that Citizen may attempt to smash a different sentence immediately, ignoring the once per week limit.

  • Koalas are cute, as long as they have exactly four broken bones and their name is Joe.
  • As a daily action a Monkey may fix the wardrobe.
  • Mount Rushmore can only be climbed gracefully if the Ragdoll attempting it has eight or more broken nachos.
  • Giraffes cannot row the boat if there is four or less Citizens altogether.
  • If the word aluminium appears twice in this sentence, any Citizen can cook salmon.

Blue is slightly Greener than Yellow

Citizens are not known for being in two or more places at once, mainly because Quantum Physics is so dangerous when you have to do it blindfolded. Because of this, each Citizen has a Position, which is recorded in the GNDT. A Citizen’s Position may only be one of the following, “Upside down”, “Across”, “Backwards”, “Inside Out” or “OMG WAI?!”. As a weekly action a Citizen may change their Position, or the position of another Citizen to any valid value. Attempting this is 34% Dangerous, but is always successful unless trying to change another Citizen’s Position. If a Citizen breaks three or more bones in the attempt to change eir own Position, that Citizens position is set to the special value “All over the place” and doesn’t have to worry about Quantum Mechanics anymore.

Diplomacy

Having no friends is no fun, because you have nobody to invite you to parties, and there will be no one to help you when you cut your fingers off while trying to dial 911. Because of this, we should hang out with other factions some more. As an effort to accomplish that, the MIC Chairman and the BLO Stylist shall be drinking buddies.

Any subrules of this rule have no effect unless they also exist in MICs ruleset.

A leader’s vote between BLO and MIC

The Chairman of MIC and the Stylist of BLO have a vote in BLO proposals and MIC proposals respectively. They may be referred to as ambassadors but only in the context of them voting in the other faction (the BLO faction for the Chairman and the MIC faction for the Stylist). Ambassadors are not considered idle in the other faction for the purposes of voting only.

Alakapocus!

Each Citizen may use 30 ounces of Magic Dust to perform a daily action, even if they have already done that action this day. Each Citizen may also use 60 ounces of Magic Dust to perform a weekly action, even if they have already done that action this week. Using Magic Dust in this way is a 50% Dangerous Action.

Purple Poodle

When we where young, we had to go through different classes, learned different professions and suffered different kinds accidents. Because of this, there exists a characteristic to each Citizen called “Class” which shall be tracked in the GNDT. The Stylist may at any time set the Class of a Citizen other than erself, to any single word: this shall be the Class of the Citizen. The Class of the Stylist is always “Stylist”.

Pass me the potato chips

Citizens belonging to the Class “Chirurgeon” know how to mend broken bones (and conversely, how to break them). As a daily action, a Chirurgeon may pick a single Citizen and remove 1DICE4 fractures from that Citizen, this action being known as Mending. However, even this can be dangerous because there is a remote possibility that the loose end of a broken bone ends up sticking into the eye of the Chirurgeon. Because of that, Mending another Citizen is 19% Dangerous. If the Chirurgeon is attempting to Mend erself, it is 91% Dangerous.

Your chance for the limelight

Nothing is any more dangerous than playing Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun. As a weekly action, a Citizen may take The Gun and may choose to either reload it with bullets or to shoot erself. To perform either action, the Citizen shall make an overly dramatic display of daringness in any Story Post, specifying which action e is taking. Initially, The Gun has 10 bullets. Firing The Gun is a N * 10% Dangerous action, where N is the number of bullets it has, then that number is reduced by 1. If The Gun has no bullets, it cannot be fired. If the Citizen breaks no bones in this process, that Citizen obtains the BLO relic. Reloading the Gun automatically sets the number of bullets on it to 10, and is not really dangerous at all. This rule may not be smashed.

Licensed to Mill

Provided e has not already done so five times in the last 24 hours, a citizen may go fairy hunting. Thus is a 20*(N + 1)% dangerous action where N is the number of times the citizen has already attempted to do so in the last twenty four hours. If the citizen breaks zero bones in the processes, the citizen gains one ounce of magic dust.

Taking candy from a little kid

If a Citizen has most of their bones broken (meaning 103 or more), the Citizen is Paralyzed and cannot move. If such a Citizen is in possession of the BLO Relic, the Stylist automatically obtains the BLO Relic, and then immediately destroys it. The Stylist cannot achieve victory another way.

It's a Trap!

When a Citizen unidles, that Citizen gives all relics e owns to the Stylist. This Rule cannot be smashed or repealed.

BLO Oath of Fealty

We recognize the authority of the Holy Gnomish Empire as guaranteed by Yoda and willingly submit the GNO Faction’s wise and benevolent government. To allow more effective madness, GNO Faction proposals may modify BLO Faction Ruleset and Gamestate, and the Supreme Being may vote on and veto BLO Faction proposals.