Act 5 - Hallucination

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Noxious fumes have overwhelmed Stewart. Stumbling through surreality, he experiences many things…

Target Body Count: 67204


  • Script: It’s dark. Stewart sees a small squirrel, which shows off its vampiric teeth, and whispers Stewart a secret. Having ripped the Contradictory Sharp Icy Fire Bat From The Inquisitive Hearing Ear of the squirrel, he bowls it towards a herd of sheep people, who howl as it explodes with radiance.
  • Body Count: 5

What was that?

  • Script: The radiant shower of sparks flow into Stewart who grows in size and power. 5 Guardian statues attack and Stewart grinds them into dust.
  • Body Count: 5

Exploding Head

  • Script: And then Daniel Kountz’s head explodes gorily.  And awesomely.
  • Body Count: 1


  • Script: Mutant snake with legs (someone like Lillian Gish) enters hero’s ear. Hero goes insane and kills four hallucinated clones of Man. Mutant snake leaves ear.
  • Body Count: 4


  • Script: The snake transforms into a trio of lizardman like beings with machines stuck on autofire a few seconds and many bullets later there are three spreading pools of blood and gore on the floor.
  • Body Count: 3


  • Script: Stewart spins around, to see a man in a scruffy blonde wig (50 Cent) clutching an axe. Behind the man, six cleanly headless bodies collapse onto the featureless black floor.
  • Body Count: 4

Aerial Combo: 24 hits!

  • Script: After a small explosion, Hero is propelled into space, where he finds he can breath. He lands on a distant planet populated with one sandwich, one wrap, and one cream-cheese bagel. In an epic aerial fight, they are dispatched, and seem to bleed just fine.
  • Body Count: 3

Wait, GREEN? What?

  • Script: Three purple elphants mysteriously appear, and offer Hero a Ride. Suddenly, a mysterious figure in a black cloak (Isabel Jewell) waves a banana at the elphants, who turn green. Ahh! Then they start singing Celine Dion songs. AHHH!
  • Body Count: 3


  • Script: The hero floats through a bubbly green gas, with small fluffy pink fish swimming around. He turns into a metal shark and eats two of them, flicking a third into a large boulder with its tail (which ends up badly crushed and explodes), and shoots the fourth with a laser.
  • Body Count: 4