The Third Dynasty of Cuddlebeam

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August 29— September 26, 2018

Ascension Address

Damn humans, trying to become immortal and stuff! This is getting out of control. Time to hit the big reset button and start from scratch.
There we go. And now, lets see how it goes with these new ones…
Replace “Mortal” with “Ape” and “Immortal” with “Monolith”


The following players were active at the start of the Dynasty: 9spaceking, card*, Cuddlebeam, derrick*, Jumble, Kevan*, pokes*, Quincunx, Trigon

The following players were active at the end: card*, derrick*, Kevan*, Quincunx, Trigon

Final Ruleset

Posts of Interest

This list does not include the numerous proposals that reorganized the wording or syntax of the ruleset.

  • Copy the Leader introduced the ideas of Food, Genetics, Mutations, and Lifetime Actions, creating a skeleton on which the rest of the game would be built.
  • Animals, but not Pond Scum introduced gender, a mechanic which would be given more use later on.
  • Another type of heritage introduced Intelligence and Traditions.
  • Hermaphroditic Apes introduced mating. Now, two Apes would be selected and have their genes merged to create the next generation.
  • Brave New Appendages put a strangely glowing pond in the middle of our humble Ape settlement.
  • The Selfish Gene made Apes now have a "Legacy" value that incremented when you became a Progenitor.
  • Re-De-Org added Attractiveness to improve mating chances.
  • Six of One made Apes' genders in each generation more consistent.
  • Aisle Seven introduced cleanup proposals. Players can submit as many of these as they want, and they are simply for the benefit of fixing the ruleset.
  • Time Flies Like A Banana quickened the pace.
  • Distinguishing Genders added a system for gender-specific attributes with two new genes.
  • Cults of Personality created even more ways to increase Food without having more food.
  • Democratisation allowed anyone to do the New Generation event, since we had an absentee Monolith.
  • accountability added a javascript page to make calculation of New Generation events easier.

Other proposals existed after this, but the game started dying out and no one used them, so these are the only really relevant ones.


After the dynasty bumped into Dormancy without an active Emperor, there was a proposal to end it with a die roll between alert and attentive players, of which there turned out to be only two. card won the roll.


In my opinion, this dynasty has been more exciting than the last one from the get-go. And based on how many people joined for this dynasty, it appears many people agree with me. I don't know what caused everyone to leave last time. Did we all just decide the concept was dumb? I don't know. Either way, I'm glad to have everyone back. Trigon (talk) 06:18, 1 September 2018 (UTC)

There was some discussion in a CfJ last dynasty. I think it was a mistake to have a big once-per-day advance-the-game action and then not (either through lack of personal gameplay incentive or lack of spare time) have anyone actually take it. It makes it look like the game isn't working, which becomes self-fulfilling. (Reaping enacted on the 2nd of August and became an anyone-can-do-this daily action on the 8th, but wasn't invoked by anyone until the 15th. It was then invoked three more times, three days apart each time, before the dynasty ended.) --Kevan (talk) 12:28, 1 September 2018 (UTC)
...and a similar thing is happening again now, with two potential New Generation Events not happening (and no further game actions being possible) because the Emperor has gone AWOL after proposing an advance-the-game action that only they could perform. --Kevan (talk) 18:36, 9 September 2018 (UTC)

It had a good start but with some oddly nihilistic intentions from the Monolith, activity petered out from a few factors, one of which being that there was a lot of randomness. Card (talk) 00:09, 27 September 2018 (UTC) Although it appears not to have been enshrined in the rules, New Generation Events were generated through an off-site javascript tool which can be found here: New Generation Event Tool

Dynastic Histories

Round One - Myke I - Lyndse I - Myke II - Kevan I - Anthony I - Est I - Kevan II - Damanor I - Kevan III - Cayvie I - Josh I - Keitalia I - SatyrEyes I - Metadynasty I - Cayvie II - Brendan I - Kevan IV - Knightking I - Chronos Phaenon I - TrumanCapote I - Knightking II - Quazie I - Simon I - AngryGrasshopper I - Rodney I - Aaron I - Josh II - Metadynasty II - Chronos Phaenon II - Excalabur I - Excalabur II - 75th Trombone I - Elias IX I - Metadynasty III - Angry Grasshopper II - Hix I - Thelonious I - Elias IX II - Rodney II - Clucky I - Doremi I - Chronos Phaenon III - Amnistar I - Clucky II - Amnistar II - Bucky I - Clucky III - Josh III - Kevan V - Hix II - Spikebrennan I - Jack I - Purplebeard I - Rodlen I - Yoda I - Amnistar III - Darknight I - Bucky II - Yoda II - Metadynasty IV - Arthexis I - Amnistar IV - Devenger I - Ais523 I - Ienpw III I - Qwazukee I - Klisz I - Metadynasty V - Bucky III - Wakukee I - Kevan VI - Ais523 II - Josh IV - Purplebeard II - Ais523 III - Ienpw III II - Klisz II - Lilomar I - Coppro I - Ais523 IV - Kevan VII - Brendan II - Alecto I - Josh V - Clucky IV - Purplebeard III - Kevan VIII - Ais523 V - Purplebeard IV - Yoda III - Bucky IV - Kevan IX - Bateleur I - Metadynasty VI - Coppro II - Ais523 VI - Cpt Koen I - Southpointingchariot I - Josh VI - Scshunt III - Quirck I - Clucky V - Bucky V - Kevan X - Josh VII - Kevan XI - Scshunt IV - RaichuKFM I - Larrytheturtle I - Skju I - Metadynasty VII - Purplebeard V - Spitemaster I - Josh VIII - RaichuKFM II - The Alien I - Benzene I - RaichuKFM III - Purplebeard VI - Kevan XII - Ayesdeeef I - Bucky VI - Kevan XIII - Josh IX - Mideg I - Kevan XIV - Brendan III - Kevan XV - Tantusar I - Josh X - Kevan XVI - Thrawn I - Brendan IV - Kevan XVII - Moonroof I - RaichuKFM IV - Larrytheturtle II - Brendan V - Kevan XVIII - Brendan VI - RaichuKFM V - Kevan XIX - Brendan VII - Kevan XX - Viv I - Pokes I - Sphinx I - Madrid I - Pokes II - Madrid II - Metadynasty VIII - Axemabaro I - Diabecko I - Kevan XXI - Diabecko & Card I - Kevan XXII - Derrick I - Card I - Madrid III - Card II - Kevan XXIII - Pokes III - Kevan XXIV - Trigon I - Derrick II - Kevan XXV - Derrick III - Farsight I - TyGuy6 I - Pokes IV - Madrid IV - TyGuy6 II - Kevan XXVI - The Duke of Waltham I - Josh XI - Clucky VI - Naught I - Metadynasty IX - Kevan XXVII - Josh XII - Clucky VII - Josh XIII - Bucky VII - Josh XIV - Kevan XXVIII - Lemonfanta I - Clucky VIII - Josh XV - Misty I - ais523 VII - Josh XVI - Kevan XXIX - Trapdoorspyder I - Metadynasty X - Brendan VIII - Brendan IX - Zack I - Misty II - Josh XVII - MadisonSilver I - Josh XVIII - Kevan XXX - Lendunistus I - Josh XIX - SingularByte I - Trapdoorspyder II - Bucky XIII - JonathanDark I - Trapdoorspyder III - Habanero I - JonathanDark II - Misty III - Metadynasty XI - Josh XX - Lemon II - Kevan XXXI - Josh XXI - Clucky IX - Vovix I - JonathanDark III - Zack II - JonathanDark IV - Josh XXII - Kevan XXXII - JonathanDark V